A Response to the Clergy & Laity of the Virginia United Methodist's Who Believe "In A New Thing"

Over the last number of years, there has been an evolving debate within the United Methodist Church.  Whether you are part of the UMC or not, you have probably heard about this because it has been covered by every major news outlet and online journal that's out there.  That issue is the exclusion, or inclusion of rights, within the church of those who identify within the LGBTQIA+ community.  More or less, whether there will be acceptance and blessing of Pastors who identify as LBTQIA+, the officiating and blessing of marriages that are outside of the Biblical Definition of Marriage: one man and one woman, and the allowance of leadership in any area of the church by those who also identify LGBTQIA+.

Several days ago, I received a message from a friend who sent me a link to an online article that has been signed by hundreds of Virginia Methodists that include clergy, retired clergy and laity. Some of the names on that list are people I consider friends.  Even after I write this, I will still consider them friends, we just don't agree on this issue. The question is, will they still continue to consider me a friend because the social response to people like me, who hold to a Biblical Worldview, is that we are intolerant and there is no room for disagreement. 

Before you read any further, please take the time to click the link below titled "A New Thing" and read the article and see all of the names signed to this document.  My goal is simply to lay out what Scripture says in regards to each area of this article and let you decide for yourself what is truth and what's not.

A New Thing

Let me start by saying I don't believe in discrimination on any level. I have friends of all different nationalities, sexual orientation, belief system's, etc. I honestly believe that any of my friends in the LGBTQIA+ community would defend me in my treatment of them, us having a friendship that is authentic & real, one in which they can call on me and I will be there for them, pray for them, love them, all the while holding to that Biblical worldview in which I don't agree with the lifestyle they live. 

Let's take a look at "A New Thing"...

"We refuse to uphold any exclusionary provisions against LGBTQIA+ Christians. We reject the notion that the lives of LGBTQIA+ people are “incompatible” with Christian discipleship. The God we know in Christ Jesus astounded and annoyed people by eating with those deemed sinners in his day (Luke 19:1-10), by offering God’s grace and healing at times considered inopportune (Mark 3:1-6), and by accepting comfort and love even when it interrupted the proceedings or offended the faithful (Luke 7:36-50). As faithful followers of Christ our Lord, we strive to be as connected to and invested in our communities as Jesus was in his."

You can wrap whatever sin you want up with this, but the problem remains the same: sin, in this case the acceptance of and living in, is incompatible with Christian discipleship.  Romans 3:23 says, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." We are all fallen, we have all messed up.  We were never created to stay that way. In case we are still disagreeing on what sin is, Mark 7:23 says, "And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”


I do agree that the church, God's people, needs to strive to be connected and invested in our community. The passages used here are good examples of how Jesus intersected and impacted the lives of those around Him, but in no way push for anything outside of the truth of who He is and the truth of His Word, or again Him being who He was and is: the living breathing Word (John 1:1, 14).

"Our love and understanding of scripture, our reliance on the breadth and depth of Christian tradition, our prayerful reflection on our lived experience, and our God-given reason, all conspire with the Holy Spirit to breathe new life and understanding into old debates. We affirm the diversity of sexual orientations and gender expressions that God has created and called good (Genesis 1:26-31) and we commit ourselves to live faithfully out of this understanding, especially in this uncertain time."

There are lots of problems here:
1. "Our love and understanding of scripture..." - Both of those are lacking. If you love scripture, the attempt to undermine its Authority by declaring good what God called sin is not love. (Psalm 50:16-17). Instead, it's selfish and leads people into dangerous territory where they are trusting in something that isn't true. Obviously the understanding portion is missing. We can't cherry pick from scripture what we want to be true. Instead, "All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." 2 Tim. 3:16

2. "Our reliance on the breadth and depth of Christian tradition..." - One of the main problems is that we rely on traditions greater than we rely on the truth of God's Word. Even so, there has never been a tradition where we are ok with sin. If that's the case, salvation in Christ would be worthless.

3. "Our prayerful reflection on our lived experience..." - This is probably one of the things I hear the most. Your life experiences, emotions and relationships don't give you the power to strip the Authority away from God's Word. We don't get to decide what is right and wrong; God does. We don't necessarily have to like it, but if we believe, we have to accept all of it, or none.

4. "Our God-given reason, all conspire with the Holy Spirit to breathe new life and understanding into old debates" - Yes God gave us all a brain to reason. However, He also gave us the Holy Spirit, "But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. "He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you." (John 16:13-14). These are not debates so stop referring to them as such. They are truths in which God made clear from the beginning of time. Lots of other religions (Mormonism, Islam, etc.) have attempted to breathe new life into old debates and that has ended up leading people away from the truth of who God is for a long time.

5. "We affirm the diversity of sexual orientations of gender expressions that God has created and called good (Genesis 1:26-31)..." - I'm really confused as how this scripture was ever used to try and defend this point. It specifically states, "God created man in His image, He created him; male and female He created them." There's nothing to try and debate here. He made two genders: male & female.

6. "...and we commit ourselves to live faithfully out of this understanding, especially in this uncertain time." - Neither God, nor the world need people who are trying to live out their own understanding. Instead, He and they need people who live out His only understanding (the truth of His Word) so that people have the chance to come to a saving knowledge of who He is.

"Because we are living into obedience to our baptismal vows to “accept the freedom and power God gives us to resist evil, injustice, and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves,” because we baptize everyone without regard to their sexual orientation or gender/gender identity/gender expression, and because the call to licensed, commissioned, or ordained ministry flows from the waters of baptism. We therefore recognize, nurture, welcome, mentor, and celebrate everyone called by God into the fullness of licensed, commissioned, or ordained ministry. We urge our Board of Ordained Ministry, District Committees on Ministry, and local congregations to recommend qualified candidates for ministry, without respect to their gender/gender identity/gender expression or sexual orientation, and to refrain from using criteria that exclude persons solely on this basis. When called to serve on these committees ourselves, we will support candidates and make our recommendations in this manner."

Problems here:
1. "...because we baptize everyone without regard to their sexual orientation or gender/gender identity/gender expression..." - Identity is only found in Christ. Gender identity is found in male or female (Genesis 1:27). Anything outside of God's plan is sin. According to what we read in scripture, "Peter said to them, 'Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." Baptism only takes place after we recognize and repent of our sins (Galatians 5:19-21).

2. "we urge our board....to recommend qualified candidates for ministry, without respect to their gender/gender identity/gender express or sexual orientation, and to refrain from using criteria that exclude person solely on this basis." - Biblical Qualifications of a Pastor: "A pastor, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperament, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages His own household well, keeping His children under control with dignity, and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil." 1 Tim. 3:2-7  This is also confirmed in Titus 1:6-9 and in verse 9 it says, "..holding fast the faithful word which in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able to both exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict."

"Because scripture teaches us that we are all created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-28a), bestowed with the good and holy gift of sexuality (Song of Songs 4), and created to live in covenantal relationship with God and one another (John 13:34-35), and because, as with the call to ministry, marriage vows flow from the waters of baptism and because marriage is a means of grace, we are also called to recognize, affirm, and celebrate the covenant of marriage between any two persons who meet the commitments and standards for marriage, regardless of their gender/gender identity/gender expression or sexual orientation. We cannot deny the covenant of marriage to committed, same-sex couples. Until our church changes its discriminatory stance regarding LGBTQIA+ weddings, we commit to upholding the same standards for all weddings."

1. "Because scripture teaches us that we are all created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-28a)..." - Yes we are all created in the image of God, but we can't leave out verse 27 where it specifically states God only created two genders: male & female.

2. "We are also called to recognize, affirm and celebrate the covenant of marriage between any two persons who meet the commitments and standards for marriage, regardless of their gender/gender identity/gender expression or sexual orientation..." - I would simply pose the question, what are the commitments and standards for marriage? According to God, "The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man and brought her to the man. The man said, 'this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." Genesis 2:22-25 or "A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." Proverbs 12:4. Ephesians has an entire passage given direction to husbands and wives, "Wives submit to your own husbands as you do to the Lord....Husbands love your wife, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." Eph. 5:22-33. Or how about something as intimate as, "But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. (1 Cor. 7:2). There is never any direction given for anything outside of the marriage between one man and one woman. Instead there is scripture after scripture showing that the LGBTQIA lifestyle is outside of God's plan. (Romans 1:26-28, 1 Tim. 1:8-11, and many more)

For the sake of time, I am going to address this last section in its entirety:

Clergy Ethics

Because we expect clergy to dedicate themselves to “the highest ideals of Christian life” (Discipline, par. 304), it is not acceptable to insist on mandatory sentences with respect to a narrow range of sexual conduct, while affording our bishop discretion with respect to most aspects of clergy ethics and clergy sexual conduct, and because to do so strips the bishop of authority and discernment and limits outcome possibilities which, in turn, precludes a just resolution, we refuse to convict our colleagues for extending the grace of marriage to committed couples or for any charges related to LGBTQIA+ inclusion.

Retired Clergy

Additionally, because the call to ordained ministry is a call on the whole of our lives, extending beyond our years under appointment, and because those of us who are retired clergy are no less faithful than our actively serving colleagues to the example of Christ, the persuasion of the Holy Spirit, and the call to serve God and God’s people, in support of and alongside our active colleagues, we will not accept interim appointments or otherwise fill in for pastors who are removed from their appointments for any charges related to LGBTQIA+ inclusion.

Laity

Because, as baptized Christians, we are all ministers, this call extends to laity as well. We will work with our churches toward full inclusion in all facets of our life together. We will support clergy in this commitment and partner with them to extend the grace of marriage to all people. We will support all qualified persons who express a call to ministry and welcome LGBTQIA+ ministers who are appointed to our faith communities. When called to serve on Staff-Parish Relations Committees, District Committees on Ministry, or the Board of Ordained Ministry, we will support candidates for ministry and clergy appointed to our congregations, without respect to their sexual orientation or gender/gender identity/gender expression.

Faithfully Forward

We hear God calling all disciples to greater faithfulness in the midst of this time of pain and lament. At Christ’s invitation, we continue gathering around the wide-open Communion table as one family, seeking to grow closer and more faithful to Christ our Lord and to live in love and peace with all of our neighbors (Matthew 22:34-30; Luke 10:25-37). So fed, we commit ourselves here to the next steps in our journey. How spiritual leaders carry out these standards is left up to their individual conscience. Similarly, each spiritual leader is responsible for faithfully applying them.

In a nutshell, those who signed this document are stating that they are not only willing to go against God & His Word, but they are also willing to go against the leadership that is set in place above them and against the decisions made to stand on the Biblical view of sexuality. I'll let scripture speak for itself:

"For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths." 2 Tim. 4:3-4

"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive. For your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil. The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you." Romans 16:17-20

"I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ." Galatians 1:6-7

"Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you." Hebrews 13:17

"Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God." Romans 13:1

Hear My Heart

I firmly believe that God does love everyone He's created.  I firmly believed that God wants all to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9).  I don't hate anyone.  I don't hate people who believe differently than I do.  Again, I have friends who don't believe anything close to what I believe. That doesn't mean we shouldn't stand strong in our convictions.  I don't believe standing for truth is intolerant, hate-filled, or that I'm a bigot. I mean, what do you stand on? What do you believe to be true?  Do you stand firm in those convictions and expect to still be accepted?  Isn't that the entire argument here? Convictions for me are rooted solely in the truth of God's Word, nothing else: not society, not expectations of others, not demographics, emotions, relationships, etc. 

The Heart of God

The part we tend to mess up is we push the all-loving part of God and forget the Just & Holy side of God. The best example I know how to sum all of this up in is the situation with the woman who was caught in adultery in John 8:1-11. 

"Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them.3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. 4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery.5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?” 6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. 9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman.10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” 11 “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

You see the loving compassionate side of Jesus when He told everyone who was without sin to cast the first stone. Then Jesus speaks to the woman and showed her there was more to her life than the sin she had been caught in. He then told her to, "Go." But before she left, He told her, "Sin no more." We tend to leave off that last piece when we defend sin. We want the loving accepting side of Jesus but not the Just and Holy side of Him where life change is expected.

My hope is not to make anyone feel alienated, that God doesn't love them or doesn't want to have a relationship with them.  The reality is, if we are going to know God in His entirety, we have to be willing to accept what He says for every area of our lives, and not just the those we agree with.

Don't Waste The Pain

Earlier today, I had the chance to have lunch with a friend.  What’s interesting is we knew of each other almost 20 years ago but haven’t seen one another, or spoke since then.  But today’s conversation was more than catching up.  It was more than talking about the old days.  It was a conversation that would change me.  

Just recently, I had the chance to serve on a men’s weekend retreat and guess who was there?  He was!  It was great getting the chance to reconnect, catch up and spend several days together, worshiping with 40 other guys as we studied scripture, sang songs and enjoyed getting to know a lot of new friends.

While on that weekend, I served as one of five Pastor’s who were there for 2 purposes: 1. Be there for the guys if they needed to talk, pray, vent, etc., 2. Speak (or preach) once during the weekend. Little did I know that by sharing my story, sharing the pain that I had been through, that it would lead to what I experienced today.

As we met at this local pizza & sub joint, he asked me a question that I’ve never been asked until today, “Do you enjoy telling your story?” My story is painful.  It’s raw, it’s real and it still hurts many days. The only thing I knew to tell him was this, “I wouldn’t say that I enjoy telling my story or that it brings me any sort of fulfillment. But, what it does is it lets other people know they aren’t alone and that pain never has to be purposeless.  God can use any pain for something greater than just pain itself.”

After a few more minutes of talking about this, he opened up and shared his story with me. As I sat and listened, I began wondering how it was possible for him, or anyone, to continue to hold it together while sharing all of this. The tragedy, the pain and the hopelessness that existed through so much of this…I don’t know how any human being could handle that much pain.

But….and there’s always a but….we share something in common. It’s the thing we talked about after he shared his story with me. He had a cheeseburger and I had chicken sub. As he was finishing his burger, I told him that if I have learned anything, it’s this: While I can’t relate to his pain, and he can’t relate to mine, the pain we both have experienced is very real, very personal & hurts very badly. In the end, he could live without that cheeseburger and fries. I could live without that chicken sub and fries I had already finished.  The one thing that neither of us, nor anyone else could live without, is hope!

There was a point in my story when I couldn’t see a way out or a light at the end of the tunnel.  There were lots of things that didn’t make sense.  For him, there are lots of unanswered questions now, things in the future that are uncertain, relationships that are broken that need to be restored.

The thing we both share in common is this: we have hope and it comes from one place, or one person: Jesus!  While our stories are very different and we have both experienced deep hurt and pain, there is a hope that runs much deeper.  You see, Jesus knows all about pain. Not only that, He knows all about overcoming it.  He endured being beaten, a crown of thorns forced onto His head, made to carry a wooden cross with little to no energy left while in extreme pain. Then He was nailed to a cross, crucified, left to die while people watched and mocked Him. 

The moment that Jesus breathed His last, everyone thought that was the end of His story. Little did they understand that this was only the beginning. 

You see, 3 days later, the power of God raised Jesus’ body up out of that tomb.  Not only that, but He did it with power and precision. The boulder covering the door was obliterated. The amount of power it took to do that was something no one had ever seen!  The cloth covering Jesus’ face wasn’t just tossed aside like the rest of the wrappings.  No, it was folded and laying in another spot from everything else.  

You see, God’s specialty is Redemption. The same power that destroyed that rock, folded that head covering and brought Jesus out of that grave is the same power that lives in you and me, if we have a relationship with Him!  The pain Jesus went through had a purpose! It was the catalyst to the power that brought Jesus out and made a way for all mankind!

Today, God wants you to know that your pain has purpose! He wants to bury it in a tomb and allow that same life-giving power to raise it up, redeem it & give you  hope. Then as you heal, He wants to use you to translate that hope to others so that they can know hope exists and exactly where it comes from.  You see, we can never give anyone else our hope!  We can only share our hope with them and allow them to discover the same hope, from the same person, who offers it to them the same as it's offered to us.

So the next chance you get, share your story!  Don’t be afraid of your pain! You never know who’s listening, who needs to know they aren’t alone and that God isn’t finished with them yet either!

I ate my chocolate bar first!

While most people take their lunch everyday around noon, & enjoy going out with some friends or coworkers to a nearby restaurant, mine is a little different.  Everyday, I take lunch around 2 and I head to my daughters elementary school where I wait to pick her up and take her to after school care.
Each time she climbs in the car, we start our normal routine of her taking her jacket off, tossing her book bag across the car and buckling the seatbelt.  We do this sort of quickly so we can help other cars get into the line before the buses pull in.  Finally, we are off.

As you can probably imagine, our conversation is focused in on how her day went.  Everything from what they did in class, to who's clip got moved because of good or bad behavior, to how her lunch was and what color she got in her daily agenda report to mom & dad.

Speaking of lunch, for our daughter, food is an issue.  Not because of allergies or other problems, just the fact that she is so picky!  So, my wife and I get to have a blast everyday packing her lunch.  We rotate the same things over the course of several days until we start over again, unless she asks for something repeatedly, which happens often.  Many days, as I stand over her lunch box, I imagine lunch time as she takes each item and eats a bite before having something else.  Believe it or not, this is one of my favorite parts of each day!

I tell you all of this because it's a daily question she asks me while riding and talking after picking her up, that really hit home with me this last week.  "Dad do you know what I ate first", and as usual, my
response is, "I don't know".  She then tells me, "I ate my chocolate bar first", with a huge smile on her face.

You see, one of my daughter's favorite things in the whole world is a Hershey chocolate bar.  Everyday, we pack one in her lunch regardless of what else is in there.  You know, the one with 4 pieces on it. We don't miss a day on these unless we run out and didn't realize it before heading to the store.  (Now I know the health nuts are going crazy.  Just sit back and relax while you read and see the point of all this!)  Every time she sits down to lunch and pops that Frozen, Doc McStuffins or personalized 31 lunchbox open, she looks for that chocolate bar.  And almost everyday, she finds it.  That may not seem like a big deal but let me tell you why it is.

Consistent parents produce confident children!  Bottom line!

Here is what I mean!  Parents, if you will be consistent in things that are small, like chocolate bars, your kids will learn to trust you in things that matter!  Hannah knows that we realize how important this is to her.  Want to know how I know?  We have the same conversation every day and the answer is always the same: "I ate the chocolate bar first!"

In my home, we are consistent in how we do several things with our kids:

1. We love Jesus before we love our children!

Before you go crazy, this is biblical.  In the very beginning, God laid out in Exodus 20:3 that, "You shall not have any other gods before Me."  Anything can become an idol, even a child.  It doesn't matter what or who it is, nothing should even be in the same category as God.  Our love for Him and relationship with Him should be on it's own and then everything else follows.

2. My wife comes before my kids! (the same goes for her)

Marriage is the only picture we see in all of scripture where God compares a human relationship to His church.  That alone should show you all you need.  Read Ephesians 5:22-33 if you doubt this!

The way I love my wife here on this earth sets a precedent for how my daughters, yes we have two, will see their dating and married relationships.  It could make or break the type of man they look for to spend their life with.

3. We love our children like Jesus: unconditionally!

Every parent knows that being a good parent is easy; just be their friend and you will be a good parent.  However, being a Godly parent is very difficult.  That means loving our kids in spite of what they do or who far they push us.  Even though our girls are small and are wonderful children, they can push us to our limits just like any kid can. The thing is, it doesn't change how we love them.  Even when we have to discipline them, we sit them down and explain to them why we are doing it and that we do it because we love them.  Even though we know they probably hate that speech and it will take twenty years or more, as well as their own children to figure out what we mean by that.

You know that passage of scripture you hear so often at weddings, the one we refer to as the love chapter of the Bible?  It wasn't just written for times like marriage celebrations, it was written for believers and how we are to love one another:

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." 1 Cor. 13:4-8a

You see, regardless of how far they push, or how many times we let them down, our love should never fail them! 

4. We show interest in the things that matter to them!

Just like things are important to us adults, our kids have things that are important to them.  So many of those things may seem insignificant to us, but they mean the world to our children.  Take some time and get involved in the little things, and big things, that matter to them!  Even if it is as simple as putting a chocolate bar in their lunch everyday.  It doesn't matter what it is, just plug in with those things.

Who knows, you may be on the way to opening a world of possibilities for them.  It may be the thing they are passionate about that holds the key to their future.  Remember, God built them with passions the same way He built you, they just may look and take shape differently.

5. Help them discover their faith!

I feel like one of the biggest ways we fail, as parents who follow Christ, is showing our children the way to Jesus. Often times, we treat it as if they can inherit the faith we have.  The problem with that is they can never have your faith or mine.  They have to own it!  It has to be something that belongs to them.

Show them why you are consistent, why you love God, their mom and them the way you do.  You have to model it for them.  When you love them that way, they will want to know why, and that will open up the ability for you to share Jesus with them!  However, don't just wait for those opportunities!  Be intentional on having these conversations as well!  Their eternity depends on it!

So parents, or parents to be, put your smart phones down & be consistent!  Give your kids every opportunity in the world to succeed!  With each child, you only have one opportunity to do it right!  Make the most of that opportunity! 

The next time, or the first time, you pack their lunch, toss in a chocolate bar and smile. Maybe when you pick them up they will say, "I ate my chocolate bar first!"

It's All But Gone

Several weeks ago, I had the privilege to be a part of a wedding for two former students.  Whenever you get to do this, it helps solidify all of the time that you spent investing in their life while they were in your ministry.

However, something happened during all of this that really opened my eyes to a hard reality for the church.  The respect for the position of Pastor (lead, associate, worship, youth, etc) is all but gone.  Let me explain.

Before I begin, I would like to give a disclaimer.  Regardless of what people around us do or what they push us to do, we make our own decisions.  In the end, we can't blame anything that we do on anyone but ourselves.  One of my biggest frustrations in life is to see people who make bad decisions and suffer the consequences but then try to shift the blame to anyone but themselves.  Yes, we often deal with situations in life that can create difficulty in us to make the right choice.  However, in the end, if we are following the Father, we have the strength to not only do what is right, but live with confidence the life Jesus has called us too.

Now, let me set the stage.  These two young people have been very strong in their faith since they came to Christ.  They have attempted to follow Jesus wherever that might take them. Over the last year, following Him has taken the groom to a new church where he currently serves as the Student Pastor.  His bride works alongside of him there in the ministry, particularly with the young ladies.

On Thursday night, the evening before the rehearsal, his best man and other friends took him out for his bachelor party.  We all know how stories like these go.  However, knowing the grooms position of leadership in his church, the assumption is that this evening is going to be lots of fun while maintaining a spirit of truth and steadfastness to the life He is living in Christ.  If that doesn't make sense to you, that means an evening of clean fun.

However, the night quickly began to get foggy for the groom.  Along with dinner, all of the guys had a beer.  (This is not a post about debating the use of alcohol!) This is nothing abnormal for a group of guys while they eat and shoot a game of pool.  However, the constant push of others for the groom to continuously consume more alcohol is where things began to take a turn.

Now they are doing this with a guy who isn't use to drinking.  So it didn't take much to get him to a point where he was quickly loosing his ability to make good decisions.  Not only that, but each of these guys know what he does for a career and a calling.  Yet they keep pushing.  Also, each of these guys are Christians so they have been called to live the same life as the one they are pushing.  Before long, the soon-to-be groom has consumed enough to not be able to remember the rest of the evening.  Thankfully, someone in the group brought them all home without any other incidents happening.

Again, let me go back to earlier.  The groom could have made a decision earlier to end this part of the night before it ever had a chance to get to this point. So don't misunderstand the point I'm trying to make.

So I share this to get to this point: we have Christians, pushing a pastor to get "wasted" on the eve of his wedding rehearsal.  A guy that they should know this would also make desperately sick.  What are you doing?  In fact, when we arrived at the rehearsal, he was laying across a set of stairs, in agonizing pain and had been sick all day.  He hurt so bad he couldn't even stand up straight.

Time for rehearsal to start and no groom. He is still inside sick.  Finally he makes his way outside but is unable to participate in the rehearsal.  Due to how sick he is, he began wondering if he had alcohol poisoning.  Therefore, my wife put him in a car and drove him to the nearest urgent care center. While there, the wedding party, including the very guys who had helped get him to this point, and his bride had rehearsal with no groom.  At urgent care, he was checked out, given some nausea meds and sent back.  He was feeling better but still extremely exhausted from the days events.

If I said I wasn't disappointed I would be lying.  However, I was as much disappointed in the guys that helped get him to this point as I was the groom for allowing this to happen.

There are a couple of things that need to be said:

1. Christians, you can't pick and choose what you want out of God's Word.
Ephesians 5:18 is very clear, "And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit."  Jesus Himself said in Luke 21:34, "Be on guard, so that your hearts will not be weighted down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of life, and that day will not come on you suddenly like a trap."  Jesus was clear: these things are traps and are not part of the believers life!

2. The respect for the position of Pastor is all but gone.
Obviously if any of these guys truly cared about this guy and what God has called him too, someone would have stepped up and said something.  That didn't happen. 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 says, "But we request of you, brothers, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work."

Come on fellas!  How much clearer does it get than that?  You are to be protectors of these men!  They need you!  Yes he is a grown man and is fully capable of making his own decisions.  But you guys are some of the closest friends He has.  You should have protected him!  You should have given him a great night he would never forget.  Instead he gets a night of embarrassment, most of which he can't and will never remember.  On top of that, he couldn't function at his wedding rehearsal.  I don't remember the disciples ever trying to get Jesus drunk!

As a fellow Pastor, who has spent over 10 years in ministry, I have seen what happens to men who don't have this protection from others, as well as people who blatantly do things, or try to get a pastor to do things contrary to the life they are living.  I have seen and experienced the hurt and pain that brings.

I have also seen this inside of the church building itself.  Church members who care more about their agenda than they do about Kingdom work.  They will do whatever is necessary to get what they want.  Instead of being about Jesus' ministry and work, they are about their own desires.  Color of the carpet, what types of lights are on the wall, flowers that have to be up front, changing dates on events so certain people can be there and others won't be able to.  These are real things I have experienced!  They happen whether you choose to believe it or not!  In the end, the Pastor suffers more than anyone because he is the one everyone looks too and often, he is thrown under the bus by people claiming to love and follow Jesus.

Unfortunately, many times this happens just before a Pastor has to go up to preach.  It can't ever seem to wait till any other time.  According to them, it has to happen in his office just before he has to preach.  If I was a lead pastor in a church, I wouldn't want to talk to anyone other than God just before I had to step into the pulpit to preach. Unless you have been a Pastor, you have no idea what this does to a man before He has to deliver the message that God has called him to bring to the people.

Never forget that under that title of Pastor they are still men.  They are still human and are going to need your guidance, at times as much as you need theirs.

So church, it's time to "Man Up!"  It's time to be the church!  PROTECT YOUR PASTORS!!! I don't care if they are lead, associate, worship, youth, whatever!  Regardless of their title, they are your pastors!  Let's be the type of people Paul was writing about when he wrote to the church at Thessalonica!  Let's appreciate our pastors!  Let's esteem them highly!  Let's love them!  Let's offer ourselves to them as we stand beside them in the ministry God has called us all to!

No Better Time Than Now

Over the last several weeks, we have watched history unfold here in the United States.  From those things, we have seen unprecedented responses from people on every side of the argument.  The question is, how we do we as followers of Christ resolve ourself to what's taking place around us and what do we do about it?

All through Scripture we see examples of men and women who did everything in their power to follow after God.  While there are many we could choose from, the ultimate example is Jesus himself.

After Jesus had silenced the Sadducees with His teaching, this is what happened next:
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?' And He said to them, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and foremost commandment.  The second is like it, "You shall love your neighbor as Yourself."
Matthew 22:36-39

We are to love God first!  We are to love Him with everything in us.  That means we love God with everything we have while accepting who He is fully by His Word!  We learn who God is by enjoying a close personal relationship with Him through prayer, study, and activity in His mission.  We don't decide what parts of Him we want and then throw out the rest that we don't like or make us uncomfortable.  A true acceptance of following Christ is one in which we accept ALL of His teachings from beginning to end, even when they cause us to stand on our own.

Being a Christ follower never meant our life would be easy or without opposition.  It means we stand with The One who could have sent an entire army to save the first martyr we know of: Stephen.  While God allowed him to die for his faith, it's the only time in all of Scripture we actually see Jesus STANDING at the right hand of the Father.  Every other instance we see throughout scripture repeatedly states that Jesus is sitting at the right hand of the Father.  I believe this to be very significant.  When we love God completely, as Stephen did, and are willing to take a stand for Him, He stands with us!

For me, there is nothing greater I know of than to know that God stands with me when I make a stand for him!

In fact, I believe this goes all the way back to Isaiah 54:17 when we see the prophet speak: "No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgement you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their vindication is from Me, declares the Lord."

Wow, what a heritage!  Who wouldn't want to live in that?  I choose to accept that and believe that God has my best interest at heart no matter what everyone around me says.

We are to love others second.  I believe this is where our culture is trying so desperately to mess us up!  Today we are told that we can't love others and stand firm on the things we believe.  WRONG!

Jesus proved that people could be loved regardless of their opinions, problems, and shortcomings.  He spent his time with those who the world considered the worst of the worst. Yet he never once allowed someone else's opinion to sway Him from the truth of who God is.  If He had wanted to do that, He could have saved Himself so much agony and pain by telling the religious leaders, Pilate and the crowds what they wanted to hear rather than the truth.

Think about the woman at the well.  Jews and Samaritans were to have nothing to do with one another, yet Jesus offered her the most precious thing He had to offer, while recognizing how many husbands she had from failed marriages.  He saw more in her than she saw in herself.  Yet he didn't move from who He is or the truth that is in Him!

In the end, we must decide how we will respond.  No matter what your friends, your parents or the people in your church choose, you will have to make a personal decision for yourself!

What will you do?  How will you respond?

There is no better time than now to decide what you will do.

For me:
"For me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

Why People Are Leaving The Church....A Response

Here recently, a very good friend of mine and I have been having quite a bit of conversation about the local church, it’s role in today’s world and how it is affecting, or not affecting both people in and outside of the church walls.  

Yesterday, my friend sent me a link to an article that his pastor had shared on social media and asked me to give him my thoughts on it.  The title of the article is “Dear Church: Here’s Why People Are Really Leaving You.”  As I read it, I listened to what the writer stated, my heart broke for him and others who feel the way he does.  There has been two times in my life when I have been deeply hurt by the church and can relate to what he’s saying.  However, there has also been another side to this.  My goal with this is not to cast blame or play the who’s right, who’s wrong game.  It’s simply a response from one person who has been hurt to another who has obviously been hurt in some way.

In Order to understand this response, please read the original article "Why People Are Really Leaving the Church" found at:

http://www.faithit.com/dear-church-heres-why-people-are-really-leaving-you/3/

My response:

Dear John,

I am so thankful to be on the other side of the Exodus.  While that may sound crazy, we now have complete access to the Father through Jesus Christ.  Therefore, being on the other side is far greater than before.

Please don’t misread our face. What you see in our face isn’t panic, it’s heartbreak; the same thing I had when reading your article. 

Yes, there are lots of statistics out there talking about the decline in Christianity and people within the church. In fact, just recently CNN shared a study talking about how Christianity is losing followers and how Islam will be the dominant religion in the future.  However, it takes more than an outside poll to gain that kind of ground.  I would challenge you to read this article by Ed Stetzer that can be found at http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2015/may/american-christianity-is-dead-not-so-fast.html.

Whether you realize it or not, we understand why people are leaving.

Are the people in today’s culture lost and walking away?  Yes and no.  Yes, so many are lost but they aren’t walking away.  if they are lost, they were never there to begin with so they can’t walk away.

I do believe that people have turned a deaf ear to God.  Just look around.  Look at the media.  You can’t argue this one.  Plus it has only been going on since the creation of man. Each person looks out for their own and seeks to have success through money, sex and material things.  If that isn’t the case, why do we see so many Hollywood marriages ending in divorce and so many pro athletes completely broke after having multi-million dollar contracts. 

Regardless of all of that, we know why people are leaving.  I agree with you in part, sometimes the problem is us.  When we tell visitors to get up out of a seat because that’s where we normally sit, I see why someone wouldn’t want to come back.  When we tell people they have to have certain clothes to come to church, I see why they don’t want to come back.

However, I would say that the number one reason people are leaving the church is because of Jesus.  You are probably as shocked by that as some people are by reading you blame the church.  Either way, I believe it to be true.

Let me elaborate in 5 ways:

1. Our Sunday Productions are the smallest part of what we do.

The stage, the lights, the bands and the video screens are only a small part of what we do.  They aren’t who we are.  Weekly worship gatherings (day and time varies based on the church) is what a friend of mine calls the locker room.  Think about it this way.  Before a game, a good coach gets his players together in the locker room to spend time preparing for how they are going to attack the game.  The church is the same way.  98% of what we do happens, or should happen, outside of the church walls.  The other 2% is preparing for the game (life) we are entering into every week.  We need good coaches (Pastors) to help prepare us to attack the life we will face that day and each day for the next week.  

To focus on just the music is to miss the series where our pastors are preaching about family, life, hurts, pain, truth, celebration and the list goes on and on.  The truth is, people have been facing the same issues for thousands of years.  Humans haven’t changed much, only our surroundings have changed.  Scripture teaches us, both in song and sermon, how to get through the most difficult and greatest times of our life.  

Yes, entertainment is all around and can be found anywhere.  However, engagement is what we are offering.  An opportunity to engage the Savior and your faith.

2.   We speak the Words of the Gospel.

The Words of God have impacted and led people for thousands of years.  They have drawn people closer to God with a much deeper understanding of who He is and who He wants to be in their life.

Yes, some words need to be simplified to help people understand.  However, let me ask you this. What are you passionate about?  My guess is, whatever your answer is to that question, you have spent time researching, learning and becoming an expert in it.  I work with a guy who is super passionate about what he does.  Whenever people ask him questions, he explains in great detail.  You know why?  He loves his job.  It is his life.  He has spent time studying what he does and has a great deal of knowledge about it.  

We as people of God should be the same way.  If we are passionate about Jesus, then we should spend time learning.  No, not everyone should go to Bible college or seminary, but we should be studying and learning these things.  

My guess is, if a church loves people and helps people learn about God, you will see seats filling up and more and more come to know Christ.

3.   The Church isn’t a building

My goal here is not to put my church out there as the only way of doing things, but to respond to you, I will use it as an example.  

My church has one of those coffee bars, awesome children’s worship center, student center and indoor children’s playground.  All of them are “top-notch” as you talked about.  And yes, they were all costly.  We make use out of them more than 2 days a week.  We are a 7 day a week church.  Our cafe & children’s center is open Monday-Saturday from 10-2 for families or individuals to come in.  Our playground is glassed in and parents can enjoy some quiet time while they watch their kids through the glass as they take advantage of our food and free wifi.  We have people in community who come that don’t even attend our church.  

All of that to say this, we do spend a lot on our facility and we bring people in on a weekly basis who aren’t a part of our church.  However, we also go into the community.  We reach out to the lost, the hurting, the broken and meet real every day needs of people.  

The problem is, we can’t just leave the building.  We have to do both.  We have to train up this generation of followers and walk out through the doors with them as we launch out into the world to meet the needs of those around us. 

I guess what I’m saying is, the church is people, whether they are inside or outside of the building.

4.   Battles Are Often Messy and Difficult

Obviously you think we like to fight.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.

While it may difficult for you to understand, we enjoy have some positive duck calling shows on tv, athletes who are vocal about and live out their faith and stores who are willing to stand up for the beliefs they are built on.  You see, so many just want us to quiet down and give up the foothold we stand on.  Problem is, we can’t.  We have to stand in the gap.  My guess is, you have plenty you would stand up for.  

Yes, we have a world that is being torn apart by poverty, racism, violence, bigotry and hunger. This I agree with you more than anything.  This is where we become the hands and feet of Christ.  We go into our communities, showing people Christ’s love with both our word and action.  What that looks like in each community is different.  Let me ask this, what are you doing to impact these areas?

We also partner with local, state, national and international organizations that have much further reaching ability than we do to help people during their time of need.  That may be through giving money, supplies, etc.  Regardless of what that is, sometimes our resources are what people need. 

We are not trivial warmongers, we are truth seekers, peace makers and defenders of the faith who refuse to back down from who God has called us to be regardless of the level of battle that exists. 

5.  Love Is The Line

Love is a big deal to us.  In fact, it’s the biggest deal of all.  When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, He stated, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Matthew 22:37-39  So to say that love is important is an understatement.  

Let’s talk about this bait and switch deal.  Yes, people should come as they are. To quote Jefferson Bethke in his Book Jesus > Religion, “The church is a hospital for the broken.”  So yes, people should come as they are: that means with all their brokenness, all their unforgiveness, all their problems, and with whatever they have to wear.

Yes Jesus hung out with the lowlifes and prostitutes.  We also see that Jesus spoke clearly to people about their life changing after encountering Him.  Look at the woman who was caught in adultery.  We read in John 8 about how Jesus handled this and then He asks her “Where are your accusers?  Didn’t even one of them condemn you?  ‘No Lord’, she said.  And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I.  Go and sin no more.” John 8: 10b-11

Jesus never expected us to stay the same after encountering Him.  Things were meant to change.  We were meant to change.  

You posed the question, “Can you love us if we aren’t sure how to define love, and marriage, and Heaven and Hell?”  I believe the question you posed shows the entire problem with your logic from start to finish.  It’s not about how you define any of this.  It’s how He defines it!  God’s definition of it is the only definition that matters.   

That’s why I believe people are leaving the church.

I’m not out to attack your position or defend mine.  My point is to share with you why I believe people are leaving the church.

Jesus is exclusive.  

His teachings are exclusive. 

He wants to matter to you.

He wants His teachings to matter to you.

So we will give you a reason to stay.

We will continue to teach the truth and follow Jesus.  We will continue to teach about sin.  

We will continue to stand on the teachings of Jesus.

We are more than willing to tolerate you.  We understand that those who don’t know Jesus aren’t going to live like they do.  

What we won’t tolerate is the attempt to make personal opinions the authority over scripture.  We won’t allow people’s definition of love, marriage, Heaven and Hell to overshadow God’s definition.  We won’t allow for you to say we aren’t loving when we won’t back down from God’s Word for someone that wants to live in sin.  

Culture is teaching for us to live however and with whoever, as long as it makes us feel good.  That isn’t how God teaches.  That wasn’t and isn’t who Jesus and His teachings are.  

We won’t stop preaching, teaching and evangelizing the lost.  We can’t because we have been given a commandment in Matthew 28:19 to do this very thing in the world.  

We aren’t here to judge you.  We are here to share the truth with you.  In that truth, you will find that God’s teaching is contrary to that of society.  

That is why people are leaving the church.  

In the end, know you are welcomed in my church.  Bring all of your junk along with you.  It’s welcome there.  Just don’t come expecting to stay that way.  

Jesus set that precedent a long time ago.