Here recently, a very good friend of mine and I have been having quite a bit of conversation about the local church, it’s role in today’s world and how it is affecting, or not affecting both people in and outside of the church walls.
Yesterday, my friend sent me a link to an article that his pastor had shared on social media and asked me to give him my thoughts on it. The title of the article is “Dear Church: Here’s Why People Are Really Leaving You.” As I read it, I listened to what the writer stated, my heart broke for him and others who feel the way he does. There has been two times in my life when I have been deeply hurt by the church and can relate to what he’s saying. However, there has also been another side to this. My goal with this is not to cast blame or play the who’s right, who’s wrong game. It’s simply a response from one person who has been hurt to another who has obviously been hurt in some way.
In Order to understand this response, please read the original article "Why People Are Really Leaving the Church" found at:
My response:
Dear John,
I am so thankful to be on the other side of the Exodus. While that may sound crazy, we now have complete access to the Father through Jesus Christ. Therefore, being on the other side is far greater than before.
Please don’t misread our face. What you see in our face isn’t panic, it’s heartbreak; the same thing I had when reading your article.
Yes, there are lots of statistics out there talking about the decline in Christianity and people within the church. In fact, just recently CNN shared a study talking about how Christianity is losing followers and how Islam will be the dominant religion in the future. However, it takes more than an outside poll to gain that kind of ground. I would challenge you to read this article by Ed Stetzer that can be found at http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2015/may/american-christianity-is-dead-not-so-fast.html.
Whether you realize it or not, we understand why people are leaving.
Are the people in today’s culture lost and walking away? Yes and no. Yes, so many are lost but they aren’t walking away. if they are lost, they were never there to begin with so they can’t walk away.
I do believe that people have turned a deaf ear to God. Just look around. Look at the media. You can’t argue this one. Plus it has only been going on since the creation of man. Each person looks out for their own and seeks to have success through money, sex and material things. If that isn’t the case, why do we see so many Hollywood marriages ending in divorce and so many pro athletes completely broke after having multi-million dollar contracts.
Regardless of all of that, we know why people are leaving. I agree with you in part, sometimes the problem is us. When we tell visitors to get up out of a seat because that’s where we normally sit, I see why someone wouldn’t want to come back. When we tell people they have to have certain clothes to come to church, I see why they don’t want to come back.
However, I would say that the number one reason people are leaving the church is because of Jesus. You are probably as shocked by that as some people are by reading you blame the church. Either way, I believe it to be true.
Let me elaborate in 5 ways:
- Our Sunday Productions are the smallest part of what we do.
The stage, the lights, the bands and the video screens are only a small part of what we do. They aren’t who we are. Weekly worship gatherings (day and time varies based on the church) is what a friend of mine calls the locker room. Think about it this way. Before a game, a good coach gets his players together in the locker room to spend time preparing for how they are going to attack the game. The church is the same way. 98% of what we do happens, or should happen, outside of the church walls. The other 2% is preparing for the game (life) we are entering into every week. We need good coaches (Pastors) to help prepare us to attack the life we will face that day and each day for the next week.
To focus on just the music is to miss the series where our pastors are preaching about family, life, hurts, pain, truth, celebration and the list goes on and on. The truth is, people have been facing the same issues for thousands of years. Humans haven’t changed much, only our surroundings have changed. Scripture teaches us, both in song and sermon, how to get through the most difficult and greatest times of our life.
Yes, entertainment is all around and can be found anywhere. However, engagement is what we are offering. An opportunity to engage the Savior and your faith.
2. We speak the Words of the Gospel.
The Words of God have impacted and led people for thousands of years. They have drawn people closer to God with a much deeper understanding of who He is and who He wants to be in their life.
Yes, some words need to be simplified to help people understand. However, let me ask you this. What are you passionate about? My guess is, whatever your answer is to that question, you have spent time researching, learning and becoming an expert in it. I work with a guy who is super passionate about what he does. Whenever people ask him questions, he explains in great detail. You know why? He loves his job. It is his life. He has spent time studying what he does and has a great deal of knowledge about it.
We as people of God should be the same way. If we are passionate about Jesus, then we should spend time learning. No, not everyone should go to Bible college or seminary, but we should be studying and learning these things.
My guess is, if a church loves people and helps people learn about God, you will see seats filling up and more and more come to know Christ.
3. The Church isn’t a building
My goal here is not to put my church out there as the only way of doing things, but to respond to you, I will use it as an example.
My church has one of those coffee bars, awesome children’s worship center, student center and indoor children’s playground. All of them are “top-notch” as you talked about. And yes, they were all costly. We make use out of them more than 2 days a week. We are a 7 day a week church. Our cafe & children’s center is open Monday-Saturday from 10-2 for families or individuals to come in. Our playground is glassed in and parents can enjoy some quiet time while they watch their kids through the glass as they take advantage of our food and free wifi. We have people in community who come that don’t even attend our church.
All of that to say this, we do spend a lot on our facility and we bring people in on a weekly basis who aren’t a part of our church. However, we also go into the community. We reach out to the lost, the hurting, the broken and meet real every day needs of people.
The problem is, we can’t just leave the building. We have to do both. We have to train up this generation of followers and walk out through the doors with them as we launch out into the world to meet the needs of those around us.
I guess what I’m saying is, the church is people, whether they are inside or outside of the building.
4. Battles Are Often Messy and Difficult
Obviously you think we like to fight. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
While it may difficult for you to understand, we enjoy have some positive duck calling shows on tv, athletes who are vocal about and live out their faith and stores who are willing to stand up for the beliefs they are built on. You see, so many just want us to quiet down and give up the foothold we stand on. Problem is, we can’t. We have to stand in the gap. My guess is, you have plenty you would stand up for.
Yes, we have a world that is being torn apart by poverty, racism, violence, bigotry and hunger. This I agree with you more than anything. This is where we become the hands and feet of Christ. We go into our communities, showing people Christ’s love with both our word and action. What that looks like in each community is different. Let me ask this, what are you doing to impact these areas?
We also partner with local, state, national and international organizations that have much further reaching ability than we do to help people during their time of need. That may be through giving money, supplies, etc. Regardless of what that is, sometimes our resources are what people need.
We are not trivial warmongers, we are truth seekers, peace makers and defenders of the faith who refuse to back down from who God has called us to be regardless of the level of battle that exists.
5. Love Is The Line
Love is a big deal to us. In fact, it’s the biggest deal of all. When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, He stated, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:37-39 So to say that love is important is an understatement.
Let’s talk about this bait and switch deal. Yes, people should come as they are. To quote Jefferson Bethke in his Book Jesus > Religion, “The church is a hospital for the broken.” So yes, people should come as they are: that means with all their brokenness, all their unforgiveness, all their problems, and with whatever they have to wear.
Yes Jesus hung out with the lowlifes and prostitutes. We also see that Jesus spoke clearly to people about their life changing after encountering Him. Look at the woman who was caught in adultery. We read in John 8 about how Jesus handled this and then He asks her “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you? ‘No Lord’, she said. And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” John 8: 10b-11
Jesus never expected us to stay the same after encountering Him. Things were meant to change. We were meant to change.
You posed the question, “Can you love us if we aren’t sure how to define love, and marriage, and Heaven and Hell?” I believe the question you posed shows the entire problem with your logic from start to finish. It’s not about how you define any of this. It’s how He defines it! God’s definition of it is the only definition that matters.
That’s why I believe people are leaving the church.
I’m not out to attack your position or defend mine. My point is to share with you why I believe people are leaving the church.
Jesus is exclusive.
His teachings are exclusive.
He wants to matter to you.
He wants His teachings to matter to you.
So we will give you a reason to stay.
We will continue to teach the truth and follow Jesus. We will continue to teach about sin.
We will continue to stand on the teachings of Jesus.
We are more than willing to tolerate you. We understand that those who don’t know Jesus aren’t going to live like they do.
What we won’t tolerate is the attempt to make personal opinions the authority over scripture. We won’t allow people’s definition of love, marriage, Heaven and Hell to overshadow God’s definition. We won’t allow for you to say we aren’t loving when we won’t back down from God’s Word for someone that wants to live in sin.
Culture is teaching for us to live however and with whoever, as long as it makes us feel good. That isn’t how God teaches. That wasn’t and isn’t who Jesus and His teachings are.
We won’t stop preaching, teaching and evangelizing the lost. We can’t because we have been given a commandment in Matthew 28:19 to do this very thing in the world.
We aren’t here to judge you. We are here to share the truth with you. In that truth, you will find that God’s teaching is contrary to that of society.
That is why people are leaving the church.
In the end, know you are welcomed in my church. Bring all of your junk along with you. It’s welcome there. Just don’t come expecting to stay that way.
Jesus set that precedent a long time ago.
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