It's All But Gone

Several weeks ago, I had the privilege to be a part of a wedding for two former students.  Whenever you get to do this, it helps solidify all of the time that you spent investing in their life while they were in your ministry.

However, something happened during all of this that really opened my eyes to a hard reality for the church.  The respect for the position of Pastor (lead, associate, worship, youth, etc) is all but gone.  Let me explain.

Before I begin, I would like to give a disclaimer.  Regardless of what people around us do or what they push us to do, we make our own decisions.  In the end, we can't blame anything that we do on anyone but ourselves.  One of my biggest frustrations in life is to see people who make bad decisions and suffer the consequences but then try to shift the blame to anyone but themselves.  Yes, we often deal with situations in life that can create difficulty in us to make the right choice.  However, in the end, if we are following the Father, we have the strength to not only do what is right, but live with confidence the life Jesus has called us too.

Now, let me set the stage.  These two young people have been very strong in their faith since they came to Christ.  They have attempted to follow Jesus wherever that might take them. Over the last year, following Him has taken the groom to a new church where he currently serves as the Student Pastor.  His bride works alongside of him there in the ministry, particularly with the young ladies.

On Thursday night, the evening before the rehearsal, his best man and other friends took him out for his bachelor party.  We all know how stories like these go.  However, knowing the grooms position of leadership in his church, the assumption is that this evening is going to be lots of fun while maintaining a spirit of truth and steadfastness to the life He is living in Christ.  If that doesn't make sense to you, that means an evening of clean fun.

However, the night quickly began to get foggy for the groom.  Along with dinner, all of the guys had a beer.  (This is not a post about debating the use of alcohol!) This is nothing abnormal for a group of guys while they eat and shoot a game of pool.  However, the constant push of others for the groom to continuously consume more alcohol is where things began to take a turn.

Now they are doing this with a guy who isn't use to drinking.  So it didn't take much to get him to a point where he was quickly loosing his ability to make good decisions.  Not only that, but each of these guys know what he does for a career and a calling.  Yet they keep pushing.  Also, each of these guys are Christians so they have been called to live the same life as the one they are pushing.  Before long, the soon-to-be groom has consumed enough to not be able to remember the rest of the evening.  Thankfully, someone in the group brought them all home without any other incidents happening.

Again, let me go back to earlier.  The groom could have made a decision earlier to end this part of the night before it ever had a chance to get to this point. So don't misunderstand the point I'm trying to make.

So I share this to get to this point: we have Christians, pushing a pastor to get "wasted" on the eve of his wedding rehearsal.  A guy that they should know this would also make desperately sick.  What are you doing?  In fact, when we arrived at the rehearsal, he was laying across a set of stairs, in agonizing pain and had been sick all day.  He hurt so bad he couldn't even stand up straight.

Time for rehearsal to start and no groom. He is still inside sick.  Finally he makes his way outside but is unable to participate in the rehearsal.  Due to how sick he is, he began wondering if he had alcohol poisoning.  Therefore, my wife put him in a car and drove him to the nearest urgent care center. While there, the wedding party, including the very guys who had helped get him to this point, and his bride had rehearsal with no groom.  At urgent care, he was checked out, given some nausea meds and sent back.  He was feeling better but still extremely exhausted from the days events.

If I said I wasn't disappointed I would be lying.  However, I was as much disappointed in the guys that helped get him to this point as I was the groom for allowing this to happen.

There are a couple of things that need to be said:

1. Christians, you can't pick and choose what you want out of God's Word.
Ephesians 5:18 is very clear, "And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit."  Jesus Himself said in Luke 21:34, "Be on guard, so that your hearts will not be weighted down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of life, and that day will not come on you suddenly like a trap."  Jesus was clear: these things are traps and are not part of the believers life!

2. The respect for the position of Pastor is all but gone.
Obviously if any of these guys truly cared about this guy and what God has called him too, someone would have stepped up and said something.  That didn't happen. 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 says, "But we request of you, brothers, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work."

Come on fellas!  How much clearer does it get than that?  You are to be protectors of these men!  They need you!  Yes he is a grown man and is fully capable of making his own decisions.  But you guys are some of the closest friends He has.  You should have protected him!  You should have given him a great night he would never forget.  Instead he gets a night of embarrassment, most of which he can't and will never remember.  On top of that, he couldn't function at his wedding rehearsal.  I don't remember the disciples ever trying to get Jesus drunk!

As a fellow Pastor, who has spent over 10 years in ministry, I have seen what happens to men who don't have this protection from others, as well as people who blatantly do things, or try to get a pastor to do things contrary to the life they are living.  I have seen and experienced the hurt and pain that brings.

I have also seen this inside of the church building itself.  Church members who care more about their agenda than they do about Kingdom work.  They will do whatever is necessary to get what they want.  Instead of being about Jesus' ministry and work, they are about their own desires.  Color of the carpet, what types of lights are on the wall, flowers that have to be up front, changing dates on events so certain people can be there and others won't be able to.  These are real things I have experienced!  They happen whether you choose to believe it or not!  In the end, the Pastor suffers more than anyone because he is the one everyone looks too and often, he is thrown under the bus by people claiming to love and follow Jesus.

Unfortunately, many times this happens just before a Pastor has to go up to preach.  It can't ever seem to wait till any other time.  According to them, it has to happen in his office just before he has to preach.  If I was a lead pastor in a church, I wouldn't want to talk to anyone other than God just before I had to step into the pulpit to preach. Unless you have been a Pastor, you have no idea what this does to a man before He has to deliver the message that God has called him to bring to the people.

Never forget that under that title of Pastor they are still men.  They are still human and are going to need your guidance, at times as much as you need theirs.

So church, it's time to "Man Up!"  It's time to be the church!  PROTECT YOUR PASTORS!!! I don't care if they are lead, associate, worship, youth, whatever!  Regardless of their title, they are your pastors!  Let's be the type of people Paul was writing about when he wrote to the church at Thessalonica!  Let's appreciate our pastors!  Let's esteem them highly!  Let's love them!  Let's offer ourselves to them as we stand beside them in the ministry God has called us all to!

No Better Time Than Now

Over the last several weeks, we have watched history unfold here in the United States.  From those things, we have seen unprecedented responses from people on every side of the argument.  The question is, how we do we as followers of Christ resolve ourself to what's taking place around us and what do we do about it?

All through Scripture we see examples of men and women who did everything in their power to follow after God.  While there are many we could choose from, the ultimate example is Jesus himself.

After Jesus had silenced the Sadducees with His teaching, this is what happened next:
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?' And He said to them, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and foremost commandment.  The second is like it, "You shall love your neighbor as Yourself."
Matthew 22:36-39

We are to love God first!  We are to love Him with everything in us.  That means we love God with everything we have while accepting who He is fully by His Word!  We learn who God is by enjoying a close personal relationship with Him through prayer, study, and activity in His mission.  We don't decide what parts of Him we want and then throw out the rest that we don't like or make us uncomfortable.  A true acceptance of following Christ is one in which we accept ALL of His teachings from beginning to end, even when they cause us to stand on our own.

Being a Christ follower never meant our life would be easy or without opposition.  It means we stand with The One who could have sent an entire army to save the first martyr we know of: Stephen.  While God allowed him to die for his faith, it's the only time in all of Scripture we actually see Jesus STANDING at the right hand of the Father.  Every other instance we see throughout scripture repeatedly states that Jesus is sitting at the right hand of the Father.  I believe this to be very significant.  When we love God completely, as Stephen did, and are willing to take a stand for Him, He stands with us!

For me, there is nothing greater I know of than to know that God stands with me when I make a stand for him!

In fact, I believe this goes all the way back to Isaiah 54:17 when we see the prophet speak: "No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgement you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their vindication is from Me, declares the Lord."

Wow, what a heritage!  Who wouldn't want to live in that?  I choose to accept that and believe that God has my best interest at heart no matter what everyone around me says.

We are to love others second.  I believe this is where our culture is trying so desperately to mess us up!  Today we are told that we can't love others and stand firm on the things we believe.  WRONG!

Jesus proved that people could be loved regardless of their opinions, problems, and shortcomings.  He spent his time with those who the world considered the worst of the worst. Yet he never once allowed someone else's opinion to sway Him from the truth of who God is.  If He had wanted to do that, He could have saved Himself so much agony and pain by telling the religious leaders, Pilate and the crowds what they wanted to hear rather than the truth.

Think about the woman at the well.  Jews and Samaritans were to have nothing to do with one another, yet Jesus offered her the most precious thing He had to offer, while recognizing how many husbands she had from failed marriages.  He saw more in her than she saw in herself.  Yet he didn't move from who He is or the truth that is in Him!

In the end, we must decide how we will respond.  No matter what your friends, your parents or the people in your church choose, you will have to make a personal decision for yourself!

What will you do?  How will you respond?

There is no better time than now to decide what you will do.

For me:
"For me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

Why People Are Leaving The Church....A Response

Here recently, a very good friend of mine and I have been having quite a bit of conversation about the local church, it’s role in today’s world and how it is affecting, or not affecting both people in and outside of the church walls.  

Yesterday, my friend sent me a link to an article that his pastor had shared on social media and asked me to give him my thoughts on it.  The title of the article is “Dear Church: Here’s Why People Are Really Leaving You.”  As I read it, I listened to what the writer stated, my heart broke for him and others who feel the way he does.  There has been two times in my life when I have been deeply hurt by the church and can relate to what he’s saying.  However, there has also been another side to this.  My goal with this is not to cast blame or play the who’s right, who’s wrong game.  It’s simply a response from one person who has been hurt to another who has obviously been hurt in some way.

In Order to understand this response, please read the original article "Why People Are Really Leaving the Church" found at:

http://www.faithit.com/dear-church-heres-why-people-are-really-leaving-you/3/

My response:

Dear John,

I am so thankful to be on the other side of the Exodus.  While that may sound crazy, we now have complete access to the Father through Jesus Christ.  Therefore, being on the other side is far greater than before.

Please don’t misread our face. What you see in our face isn’t panic, it’s heartbreak; the same thing I had when reading your article. 

Yes, there are lots of statistics out there talking about the decline in Christianity and people within the church. In fact, just recently CNN shared a study talking about how Christianity is losing followers and how Islam will be the dominant religion in the future.  However, it takes more than an outside poll to gain that kind of ground.  I would challenge you to read this article by Ed Stetzer that can be found at http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2015/may/american-christianity-is-dead-not-so-fast.html.

Whether you realize it or not, we understand why people are leaving.

Are the people in today’s culture lost and walking away?  Yes and no.  Yes, so many are lost but they aren’t walking away.  if they are lost, they were never there to begin with so they can’t walk away.

I do believe that people have turned a deaf ear to God.  Just look around.  Look at the media.  You can’t argue this one.  Plus it has only been going on since the creation of man. Each person looks out for their own and seeks to have success through money, sex and material things.  If that isn’t the case, why do we see so many Hollywood marriages ending in divorce and so many pro athletes completely broke after having multi-million dollar contracts. 

Regardless of all of that, we know why people are leaving.  I agree with you in part, sometimes the problem is us.  When we tell visitors to get up out of a seat because that’s where we normally sit, I see why someone wouldn’t want to come back.  When we tell people they have to have certain clothes to come to church, I see why they don’t want to come back.

However, I would say that the number one reason people are leaving the church is because of Jesus.  You are probably as shocked by that as some people are by reading you blame the church.  Either way, I believe it to be true.

Let me elaborate in 5 ways:

1. Our Sunday Productions are the smallest part of what we do.

The stage, the lights, the bands and the video screens are only a small part of what we do.  They aren’t who we are.  Weekly worship gatherings (day and time varies based on the church) is what a friend of mine calls the locker room.  Think about it this way.  Before a game, a good coach gets his players together in the locker room to spend time preparing for how they are going to attack the game.  The church is the same way.  98% of what we do happens, or should happen, outside of the church walls.  The other 2% is preparing for the game (life) we are entering into every week.  We need good coaches (Pastors) to help prepare us to attack the life we will face that day and each day for the next week.  

To focus on just the music is to miss the series where our pastors are preaching about family, life, hurts, pain, truth, celebration and the list goes on and on.  The truth is, people have been facing the same issues for thousands of years.  Humans haven’t changed much, only our surroundings have changed.  Scripture teaches us, both in song and sermon, how to get through the most difficult and greatest times of our life.  

Yes, entertainment is all around and can be found anywhere.  However, engagement is what we are offering.  An opportunity to engage the Savior and your faith.

2.   We speak the Words of the Gospel.

The Words of God have impacted and led people for thousands of years.  They have drawn people closer to God with a much deeper understanding of who He is and who He wants to be in their life.

Yes, some words need to be simplified to help people understand.  However, let me ask you this. What are you passionate about?  My guess is, whatever your answer is to that question, you have spent time researching, learning and becoming an expert in it.  I work with a guy who is super passionate about what he does.  Whenever people ask him questions, he explains in great detail.  You know why?  He loves his job.  It is his life.  He has spent time studying what he does and has a great deal of knowledge about it.  

We as people of God should be the same way.  If we are passionate about Jesus, then we should spend time learning.  No, not everyone should go to Bible college or seminary, but we should be studying and learning these things.  

My guess is, if a church loves people and helps people learn about God, you will see seats filling up and more and more come to know Christ.

3.   The Church isn’t a building

My goal here is not to put my church out there as the only way of doing things, but to respond to you, I will use it as an example.  

My church has one of those coffee bars, awesome children’s worship center, student center and indoor children’s playground.  All of them are “top-notch” as you talked about.  And yes, they were all costly.  We make use out of them more than 2 days a week.  We are a 7 day a week church.  Our cafe & children’s center is open Monday-Saturday from 10-2 for families or individuals to come in.  Our playground is glassed in and parents can enjoy some quiet time while they watch their kids through the glass as they take advantage of our food and free wifi.  We have people in community who come that don’t even attend our church.  

All of that to say this, we do spend a lot on our facility and we bring people in on a weekly basis who aren’t a part of our church.  However, we also go into the community.  We reach out to the lost, the hurting, the broken and meet real every day needs of people.  

The problem is, we can’t just leave the building.  We have to do both.  We have to train up this generation of followers and walk out through the doors with them as we launch out into the world to meet the needs of those around us. 

I guess what I’m saying is, the church is people, whether they are inside or outside of the building.

4.   Battles Are Often Messy and Difficult

Obviously you think we like to fight.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.

While it may difficult for you to understand, we enjoy have some positive duck calling shows on tv, athletes who are vocal about and live out their faith and stores who are willing to stand up for the beliefs they are built on.  You see, so many just want us to quiet down and give up the foothold we stand on.  Problem is, we can’t.  We have to stand in the gap.  My guess is, you have plenty you would stand up for.  

Yes, we have a world that is being torn apart by poverty, racism, violence, bigotry and hunger. This I agree with you more than anything.  This is where we become the hands and feet of Christ.  We go into our communities, showing people Christ’s love with both our word and action.  What that looks like in each community is different.  Let me ask this, what are you doing to impact these areas?

We also partner with local, state, national and international organizations that have much further reaching ability than we do to help people during their time of need.  That may be through giving money, supplies, etc.  Regardless of what that is, sometimes our resources are what people need. 

We are not trivial warmongers, we are truth seekers, peace makers and defenders of the faith who refuse to back down from who God has called us to be regardless of the level of battle that exists. 

5.  Love Is The Line

Love is a big deal to us.  In fact, it’s the biggest deal of all.  When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, He stated, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Matthew 22:37-39  So to say that love is important is an understatement.  

Let’s talk about this bait and switch deal.  Yes, people should come as they are. To quote Jefferson Bethke in his Book Jesus > Religion, “The church is a hospital for the broken.”  So yes, people should come as they are: that means with all their brokenness, all their unforgiveness, all their problems, and with whatever they have to wear.

Yes Jesus hung out with the lowlifes and prostitutes.  We also see that Jesus spoke clearly to people about their life changing after encountering Him.  Look at the woman who was caught in adultery.  We read in John 8 about how Jesus handled this and then He asks her “Where are your accusers?  Didn’t even one of them condemn you?  ‘No Lord’, she said.  And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I.  Go and sin no more.” John 8: 10b-11

Jesus never expected us to stay the same after encountering Him.  Things were meant to change.  We were meant to change.  

You posed the question, “Can you love us if we aren’t sure how to define love, and marriage, and Heaven and Hell?”  I believe the question you posed shows the entire problem with your logic from start to finish.  It’s not about how you define any of this.  It’s how He defines it!  God’s definition of it is the only definition that matters.   

That’s why I believe people are leaving the church.

I’m not out to attack your position or defend mine.  My point is to share with you why I believe people are leaving the church.

Jesus is exclusive.  

His teachings are exclusive. 

He wants to matter to you.

He wants His teachings to matter to you.

So we will give you a reason to stay.

We will continue to teach the truth and follow Jesus.  We will continue to teach about sin.  

We will continue to stand on the teachings of Jesus.

We are more than willing to tolerate you.  We understand that those who don’t know Jesus aren’t going to live like they do.  

What we won’t tolerate is the attempt to make personal opinions the authority over scripture.  We won’t allow people’s definition of love, marriage, Heaven and Hell to overshadow God’s definition.  We won’t allow for you to say we aren’t loving when we won’t back down from God’s Word for someone that wants to live in sin.  

Culture is teaching for us to live however and with whoever, as long as it makes us feel good.  That isn’t how God teaches.  That wasn’t and isn’t who Jesus and His teachings are.  

We won’t stop preaching, teaching and evangelizing the lost.  We can’t because we have been given a commandment in Matthew 28:19 to do this very thing in the world.  

We aren’t here to judge you.  We are here to share the truth with you.  In that truth, you will find that God’s teaching is contrary to that of society.  

That is why people are leaving the church.  

In the end, know you are welcomed in my church.  Bring all of your junk along with you.  It’s welcome there.  Just don’t come expecting to stay that way.  

Jesus set that precedent a long time ago.