However, something happened during all of this that really opened my eyes to a hard reality for the church. The respect for the position of Pastor (lead, associate, worship, youth, etc) is all but gone. Let me explain.
Before I begin, I would like to give a disclaimer. Regardless of what people around us do or what they push us to do, we make our own decisions. In the end, we can't blame anything that we do on anyone but ourselves. One of my biggest frustrations in life is to see people who make bad decisions and suffer the consequences but then try to shift the blame to anyone but themselves. Yes, we often deal with situations in life that can create difficulty in us to make the right choice. However, in the end, if we are following the Father, we have the strength to not only do what is right, but live with confidence the life Jesus has called us too.
Now, let me set the stage. These two young people have been very strong in their faith since they came to Christ. They have attempted to follow Jesus wherever that might take them. Over the last year, following Him has taken the groom to a new church where he currently serves as the Student Pastor. His bride works alongside of him there in the ministry, particularly with the young ladies.
On Thursday night, the evening before the rehearsal, his best man and other friends took him out for his bachelor party. We all know how stories like these go. However, knowing the grooms position of leadership in his church, the assumption is that this evening is going to be lots of fun while maintaining a spirit of truth and steadfastness to the life He is living in Christ. If that doesn't make sense to you, that means an evening of clean fun.
However, the night quickly began to get foggy for the groom. Along with dinner, all of the guys had a beer. (This is not a post about debating the use of alcohol!) This is nothing abnormal for a group of guys while they eat and shoot a game of pool. However, the constant push of others for the groom to continuously consume more alcohol is where things began to take a turn.
Now they are doing this with a guy who isn't use to drinking. So it didn't take much to get him to a point where he was quickly loosing his ability to make good decisions. Not only that, but each of these guys know what he does for a career and a calling. Yet they keep pushing. Also, each of these guys are Christians so they have been called to live the same life as the one they are pushing. Before long, the soon-to-be groom has consumed enough to not be able to remember the rest of the evening. Thankfully, someone in the group brought them all home without any other incidents happening.
Again, let me go back to earlier. The groom could have made a decision earlier to end this part of the night before it ever had a chance to get to this point. So don't misunderstand the point I'm trying to make.
So I share this to get to this point: we have Christians, pushing a pastor to get "wasted" on the eve of his wedding rehearsal. A guy that they should know this would also make desperately sick. What are you doing? In fact, when we arrived at the rehearsal, he was laying across a set of stairs, in agonizing pain and had been sick all day. He hurt so bad he couldn't even stand up straight.
Time for rehearsal to start and no groom. He is still inside sick. Finally he makes his way outside but is unable to participate in the rehearsal. Due to how sick he is, he began wondering if he had alcohol poisoning. Therefore, my wife put him in a car and drove him to the nearest urgent care center. While there, the wedding party, including the very guys who had helped get him to this point, and his bride had rehearsal with no groom. At urgent care, he was checked out, given some nausea meds and sent back. He was feeling better but still extremely exhausted from the days events.
If I said I wasn't disappointed I would be lying. However, I was as much disappointed in the guys that helped get him to this point as I was the groom for allowing this to happen.
There are a couple of things that need to be said:
1. Christians, you can't pick and choose what you want out of God's Word.
Ephesians 5:18 is very clear, "And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit." Jesus Himself said in Luke 21:34, "Be on guard, so that your hearts will not be weighted down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of life, and that day will not come on you suddenly like a trap." Jesus was clear: these things are traps and are not part of the believers life!
2. The respect for the position of Pastor is all but gone.
Obviously if any of these guys truly cared about this guy and what God has called him too, someone would have stepped up and said something. That didn't happen. 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 says, "But we request of you, brothers, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work."
Come on fellas! How much clearer does it get than that? You are to be protectors of these men! They need you! Yes he is a grown man and is fully capable of making his own decisions. But you guys are some of the closest friends He has. You should have protected him! You should have given him a great night he would never forget. Instead he gets a night of embarrassment, most of which he can't and will never remember. On top of that, he couldn't function at his wedding rehearsal. I don't remember the disciples ever trying to get Jesus drunk!
As a fellow Pastor, who has spent over 10 years in ministry, I have seen what happens to men who don't have this protection from others, as well as people who blatantly do things, or try to get a pastor to do things contrary to the life they are living. I have seen and experienced the hurt and pain that brings.
I have also seen this inside of the church building itself. Church members who care more about their agenda than they do about Kingdom work. They will do whatever is necessary to get what they want. Instead of being about Jesus' ministry and work, they are about their own desires. Color of the carpet, what types of lights are on the wall, flowers that have to be up front, changing dates on events so certain people can be there and others won't be able to. These are real things I have experienced! They happen whether you choose to believe it or not! In the end, the Pastor suffers more than anyone because he is the one everyone looks too and often, he is thrown under the bus by people claiming to love and follow Jesus.
Unfortunately, many times this happens just before a Pastor has to go up to preach. It can't ever seem to wait till any other time. According to them, it has to happen in his office just before he has to preach. If I was a lead pastor in a church, I wouldn't want to talk to anyone other than God just before I had to step into the pulpit to preach. Unless you have been a Pastor, you have no idea what this does to a man before He has to deliver the message that God has called him to bring to the people.
Never forget that under that title of Pastor they are still men. They are still human and are going to need your guidance, at times as much as you need theirs.
So church, it's time to "Man Up!" It's time to be the church! PROTECT YOUR PASTORS!!! I don't care if they are lead, associate, worship, youth, whatever! Regardless of their title, they are your pastors! Let's be the type of people Paul was writing about when he wrote to the church at Thessalonica! Let's appreciate our pastors! Let's esteem them highly! Let's love them! Let's offer ourselves to them as we stand beside them in the ministry God has called us all to!
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