Each time she climbs in the car, we start our normal routine of her taking her jacket off, tossing her book bag across the car and buckling the seatbelt. We do this sort of quickly so we can help other cars get into the line before the buses pull in. Finally, we are off.
As you can probably imagine, our conversation is focused in on how her day went. Everything from what they did in class, to who's clip got moved because of good or bad behavior, to how her lunch was and what color she got in her daily agenda report to mom & dad.
Speaking of lunch, for our daughter, food is an issue. Not because of allergies or other problems, just the fact that she is so picky! So, my wife and I get to have a blast everyday packing her lunch. We rotate the same things over the course of several days until we start over again, unless she asks for something repeatedly, which happens often. Many days, as I stand over her lunch box, I imagine lunch time as she takes each item and eats a bite before having something else. Believe it or not, this is one of my favorite parts of each day!
I tell you all of this because it's a daily question she asks me while riding and talking after picking her up, that really hit home with me this last week. "Dad do you know what I ate first", and as usual, my
response is, "I don't know". She then tells me, "I ate my chocolate bar first", with a huge smile on her face.
You see, one of my daughter's favorite things in the whole world is a Hershey chocolate bar. Everyday, we pack one in her lunch regardless of what else is in there. You know, the one with 4 pieces on it. We don't miss a day on these unless we run out and didn't realize it before heading to the store. (Now I know the health nuts are going crazy. Just sit back and relax while you read and see the point of all this!) Every time she sits down to lunch and pops that Frozen, Doc McStuffins or personalized 31 lunchbox open, she looks for that chocolate bar. And almost everyday, she finds it. That may not seem like a big deal but let me tell you why it is.
Consistent parents produce confident children! Bottom line!
Here is what I mean! Parents, if you will be consistent in things that are small, like chocolate bars, your kids will learn to trust you in things that matter! Hannah knows that we realize how important this is to her. Want to know how I know? We have the same conversation every day and the answer is always the same: "I ate the chocolate bar first!"
In my home, we are consistent in how we do several things with our kids:
1. We love Jesus before we love our children!
Before you go crazy, this is biblical. In the very beginning, God laid out in Exodus 20:3 that, "You shall not have any other gods before Me." Anything can become an idol, even a child. It doesn't matter what or who it is, nothing should even be in the same category as God. Our love for Him and relationship with Him should be on it's own and then everything else follows.
2. My wife comes before my kids! (the same goes for her)
Marriage is the only picture we see in all of scripture where God compares a human relationship to His church. That alone should show you all you need. Read Ephesians 5:22-33 if you doubt this!
The way I love my wife here on this earth sets a precedent for how my daughters, yes we have two, will see their dating and married relationships. It could make or break the type of man they look for to spend their life with.
3. We love our children like Jesus: unconditionally!
Every parent knows that being a good parent is easy; just be their friend and you will be a good parent. However, being a Godly parent is very difficult. That means loving our kids in spite of what they do or who far they push us. Even though our girls are small and are wonderful children, they can push us to our limits just like any kid can. The thing is, it doesn't change how we love them. Even when we have to discipline them, we sit them down and explain to them why we are doing it and that we do it because we love them. Even though we know they probably hate that speech and it will take twenty years or more, as well as their own children to figure out what we mean by that.
You know that passage of scripture you hear so often at weddings, the one we refer to as the love chapter of the Bible? It wasn't just written for times like marriage celebrations, it was written for believers and how we are to love one another:
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." 1 Cor. 13:4-8a
You see, regardless of how far they push, or how many times we let them down, our love should never fail them!
4. We show interest in the things that matter to them!
Just like things are important to us adults, our kids have things that are important to them. So many of those things may seem insignificant to us, but they mean the world to our children. Take some time and get involved in the little things, and big things, that matter to them! Even if it is as simple as putting a chocolate bar in their lunch everyday. It doesn't matter what it is, just plug in with those things.
Who knows, you may be on the way to opening a world of possibilities for them. It may be the thing they are passionate about that holds the key to their future. Remember, God built them with passions the same way He built you, they just may look and take shape differently.
5. Help them discover their faith!
I feel like one of the biggest ways we fail, as parents who follow Christ, is showing our children the way to Jesus. Often times, we treat it as if they can inherit the faith we have. The problem with that is they can never have your faith or mine. They have to own it! It has to be something that belongs to them.
Show them why you are consistent, why you love God, their mom and them the way you do. You have to model it for them. When you love them that way, they will want to know why, and that will open up the ability for you to share Jesus with them! However, don't just wait for those opportunities! Be intentional on having these conversations as well! Their eternity depends on it!
So parents, or parents to be, put your smart phones down & be consistent! Give your kids every opportunity in the world to succeed! With each child, you only have one opportunity to do it right! Make the most of that opportunity!
The next time, or the first time, you pack their lunch, toss in a chocolate bar and smile. Maybe when you pick them up they will say, "I ate my chocolate bar first!"
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